The Coming of Age-Fighting For His King

There are so many difficult aspects of being a pastor's kid. Expectations that are unrealistic, constant watchful eyes, and the sometimes painful things pastor's kids see their parents endure at the hands of "church people"... it can wound a child and chase them away from God.  My children have been through their share of grief and pain in their roles as children of a pastor.  Our oldest three at home especially have had to fight to keep their eyes on Jesus as they are not just pastor's kids, but leaders in the church as worship team members. With all the struggles that come with the territory, there are moments when God makes up for it all.  My children are beyond blessed.  We saw a glimpse of that blessing this weekend.

In the 13th year of each of our children's lives, we take them on an overnight trip with Dad and Mom. It isn't a long trip and it isn't to a far place, but what is accomplished in that 24 hours is amazing.  Two of our older girls have gone and this weekend it was Caleb's turn. In the weeks and months before the time away, we ask for letters from people that have impacted our children's lives throughout their first 13 years.  Once in the hotel room, we present them with a purity ring to be worn until their wedding along with these letters. We each take turns reading one after another. The surprise and emotion of seeing the people who sent letters is priceless to see.

As our son, sat quietly listening to the letters, I began to see something transpire.  Our son is unique to say the least.  He is a skilled drummer and called into ministry, but spends most of his time being a miniature Jim Carey!  We love that about him!  He will make a great speaker with that humor. This child who spends his life making people laugh, always a weird face, always a funny monologue to offer, began to transform in this moment, into a young man.  People have always been Caleb's favorite part of life.  In every church we've ministered in, there have always been men Caleb loved. In our first pastorate, Ardell Talkington, a quiet, mild mannered trombone player, was all that Caleb talked about.  He helped Ardell put his trombone away after church every Sunday. Ardell would take him on rides in his truck.  Ardell would talk to Caleb about Jesus.  When I opened the letter from Ardell and read it, an emotion hit Caleb like I've not seen before.  It was a strengthening of his heart, a validating medal of honor placed deep within his soul.  Letter after letter was read, one from an amazing missionary we love who told stories of his African adventures as our children literally sat at his feet. A strong, anointed letter from our district superintendent who is more like our own pastor than some far off official.  Pastors, godly family members, strong men of God from our various times of life...and all of them said the same thing.  "You are a strong leader, compassionate, a worshiper, a defender of the weak, wholehearted, devoted, kind, and aware of those around you."  With each letter more strength came.

If you would know what our son has had to overcome, you would understand how powerful this moment was.  Caleb is dyslexic and dysgraphic.  His intellect is brilliant, but it's hindered by the words he reads being jumbled on the page.  He was bullied for several years in elementary school, a boy actually breaking his hand by pulling back his fingers back until his hand broke in the recess line at school. He was cast aside often, dismissed as less than, treated with contempt even when he reached out in kindness. But, those messages no longer defined him because a group of men and his father spoke life defining words through those letters. Over and again young men he looked up to who are now adults urged him on.  "Don't let the past define you."  "Don't be afraid to lead your generation"  " I see greatness in you"...With each word read on that hotel bed, I could see Caleb's spirit change.  Strength was coming in the supernatural, an impartation of the Spirit was deposited. He was a man.

With the emotion lingering from the letters, my husband grabbed the gift he was giving to his son. Kurt preaches a sermon that everyone talks about.  He has preached it in every church, at men's events, and often on Father's Day.  The sermon is called "Fight For the Heart of Your King".  It is a clarion call to men.  It is a message that brings freedom to men...to be men, to allow their God given traits of toughness, a conquering spirit, and valiance to come out of hiding.  Caleb knows this message well.  He has heard it over and over again.  In the message, Kurt tells the story of King Richard, the Lion Heart and his loyal knight, Robert the Bruce.  It's a powerful, riveting story that brings the men to their feet at the end of the message shouting, "I will fight for the heart of my king!"  In his sermon, he carries a replica of the sword of Richard, the Lion Heart. When Caleb was eight years old, he stood on the platform at a men's retreat and held the large sword while his Dad preached.

Kurt pulled out that sword and began to talk to Caleb.  He named Caleb courageous and true, strong and victorious. He urged him to fight for his king, for his family, for himself...to live a life of honor and excellence.  As Kurt talked, Caleb's eyes welled up in emotion with the slightest smile of anticipation.  Kurt gave Caleb the sword as a symbol of him becoming a man.  Caleb held it on his knees in admiration.  I was moved beyond words.

What an privilege my children have in being children of ministry.  The level of godly men that wrote him letters and spoke words of valor over his life was staggering.  My girls had the same experience....letters from powerful women, worship leaders, family and friends.  My son is a man now and it didn't take a village to get him there, but it certainly took this group of men and his father. What amazing forerunners Caleb has to look to, to model after, to find strength and courage in.  We are blessed....to overflowing, we are blessed.