Longing...

I've looked into the faces of my kids at home as they long for something.  My son, Caleb, looks through pages and pages of Craigslist and Ebay ads, dreaming and longing to have a new drum set or a motorbike.  He talks about it with urgency, convincing me he not only wants those things, but he really, really needs them. He plans for the time he will have them. I join in conversation with him about it.  They are valid desires based on gifts and characteristics God placed in him.  Someday, I believe he will have those things.  I look into the faces of my daughters as they watch gifted musicians at concerts and on tv.  Music is deep in them and they long to use those gifts, to feel that soaring feeling of belting out beautiful notes.  They talk excitedly and quickly about musicians that amaze them.  They sing their songs, they mimic their sound, they dream about the possibilities for them.  I understand that longing.  I have the same ache within me for music.

There is a longing that surpasses what I see in my children here at home.  In Ethiopia, there is a longing that is so deep and so out of reach, it's silent.  It's a silence that screamed into my soul the entire week I spent in Ethiopia this last November. The eyes of the children of Kolfe Orphanage peered at me with an ache I've never seen before.  They didn't articulate it, they didn't try to convince me how much they wanted it or needed it.  I am certain they didn't plan for it and perhaps maybe they've even stopped dreaming about it.  Regardless of their lack of active expression, their longing was starkly clear.  Boy after boy approached me, watching my every move, some reaching for a hug, some standing at a distance, but all of them boring a hole into my existence with their longing eyes. They longed to be fed, they longed to be clothed, neglect and lack made for clear longing.  The deepest, most painful longing of all twisted at my gut and sent tears flooding down my face.  Dark, almond shaped eyes so unique to Ethiopia and so famous in beauty looked to me, aching to belong. They just wanted to belong to someone.

There are over 250 boys living at Kolfe Orphanage and they just want to belong to someone.  They may have given up on hope, they may never speak of it, or even dream of it, but the longing remains deep within their gaze.  It's heart wrenching to witness.

Kolfe boys have been known as "lost boys" for many years.  Rarely do they find a family willing to adopt them and rarely is an agency willing to facilitate that adoption. Right now, there are a handful of them, all friends, in process of coming home. This includes our two, amazing, beautiful sons.  They too, have that silent longing in their stare, but unlike most of the other boys, they have a cautious glimmer of hope in those milky brown eyes.

When my son talks of a new drum set or motorcycle, I want to fill that longing within him.  I want to bless him with those things that make him Caleb.  When my girls chatter about musicians that move them and how much they long to improve their musicianship, I want to find every opportunity I can to help them blossom. But when my two gorgeous, amazing sons in Ethiopia look to me, longing to belong, longing for a family, a mommy, a daddy, grandparents and community...things they can't even imagine, yet were created to have...I am driven to make that happen. Those eyes keep me awake at night, tie my stomach in knots, move me with compassion.  That's the kind of compassion Jesus had...the kind He felt in His gut.  It drove Him to action.

Kurt and I cannot take hold of these children and meet their deepest longing alone.  We just can't.  There are the rare few that have the wealth that can fund an adoption fully, but most families I know who are called to adopt hurting, needy children are of modest means.  I think that's of no coincidence, because it enables the family of God to come together...those who are willing and those who are able...to partner to bring these miracle to pass.  It pleases God to see that kind of shoulder to shoulder commitment to affect the least of these.

I don't know about you...but I long to see our sons go from the hopeless longing for the basic needs every child deserves...food, clothing, and family...to excited chatter about their hopes and dreams for their future.  There is hope in those longings, there is life in those longings.  We can't do it without help.  

We are moving forward quickly with this adoption.  Our oldest will age out in this year and both of them are in desperate need to come home. We are believing, in faith, that they will be home by May.  We have roughly $14,000 to raise plus travel expenses. We've made a huge dent in the total cost because of so many of you and your generous hearts.  We cannot thank you enough.  $14,000 seems like an insurmountable  mountain to climb, but we just witnessed the miracle of one family as they raised $12,000 for an emergency special needs adoption in 48 hours.  God, along with His amazing children can do anything.  We are asking for your help, we are asking for your voice.  On this blog, you can donate to PayPal, you can mail us a check, or you can directly mail a check to our adoption agency in our name.  You can also share this need with those around you, posting on your Facebook or sharing with your church.  And you can certainly pray.  We need God to move paperwork and government officials quickly to get our children home to a family.

No child should have to long so deeply to belong to a family.  Every child deserves a family.  There are 250 boys at Kolfe Orphanage who need a voice.  I plan to continue to be that voice even after our sons come home.  I am driven to act on their behalf.  Not all of them will be adopted, but they need food and clothing and, most importantly, need to know that they belong to Jesus.

We know we are asking a great thing, but giving into the lives of orphans, the place where God's heart beats, is always a sure investment.  The return will be far beyond what you can ever imagine. Thank you for praying about how you can help.  

International Adoption Net Attn 

Kurt and JoLynn Coleman Adoption

7500 E. Arapahoe Road Ste #250

Centennial, CO 80112

800-982-3778 

All donations through IAN are tax deductible

From Two And A Half to Twenty

Blinking, pinching, shaking my head in realization that two and a half years of waiting have come down to twenty days. In twenty short days, I will be on a plane returning to a place so beautiful, so sad, so close to our hearts. I will be returning, but going for the first time. Our first trip in December of 2008, we traveled to pick up our two precious children, Joshua and Julianna. I got horribly sick the second day our feet were on African soil. I spent my entire visit in bed or looking for a doctor. It was miserable and frightening and I felt robbed of all the years I longed for Africa. I didn't see a single thing but the inside of my room and the vehicle. I will be going for the first time...seeing the beauty of the land, mingling with the precious people of Addis Ababa, and most life altering of all, putting my arms around the two boys we have parented for two and a half years from so far away. We have heard their voices on the phone and talked live on Skype, we have read countless emails and sent letters and gifts and pictures. However, in 20 days, I will drink them in, I will touch their faces, and smell their presence. We will spend seven days together, laughing, praying, building relationships, and then saying goodbye until court. What a bittersweet gift. Me and two other moms adopting from Kolfe will be staying together in Levi Benkert's guesthouse with our sons. It will be crowded, but so fun! Three moms and five sons... We will love on the many boys at Kolfe who long for families and some who already have families in the US. I am so excited to love on the boys of my many friends, being their love extended, taking pictures and video, making memories. We will be bringing donations for the almost 300 boys and will buy them fruit, which is a huge treat for these kids. I cannot wait to experience Ethiopia for the first time. I absolutely covet your prayers for health the entire trip. Please pray for strengthened immunity and pray every parasite dare not come near my body. Pray for no respiratory issues with the raw exhaust that gave me trouble last time. I long to enjoy every moment in the land I've dreamed of since the age 3. So many of you have helped me get to this place of being able to see our sons. Since the heartbreak of losing our pastorate, financially we could never have done this without you. Thank you! Please pray we are able to raise the remaining $600 or so I need to take with me for the guest house, driver, etc. When I return home, we will resume the adoption process and will begin to apply for numerous grants to complete it. That, along with two more trips for court and then embassy will be needed. God is the God of more than enough. His heart is for the orphan and we know He will provide just in time. Thank you for your part in this journey to taking two boys from a life of being a fatherless, without family, support, hope, and sustenance to a life of abundant love and belonging, opportunity and a future.

When Momentum Runs into a Mountain

Momentum...Forward movement, the wind in our hair, seeing results, the goal just ahead. We have been in that place of momentum in several areas of our life for a short six months. Finally, it seemed things were moving, God was bringing results, and we were seeing the promised goal just ahead. Suddenly, the path reveals a unseen obstacle and with a shocking, violent slam, we hit headlong into a looming mountain. Disbelief, heartbreak, disillusionment...we didn't even see this mountain coming. For long moments, we stand on the path before this jagged, ominous barrier, the wind knocked from our lungs, tears streaming down our faces. We are left with no tools to climb it, no weapons to fight it, no map to find our way around it. For two weeks, we have stood here, looking around at the injustice of the mountain, asking God what we are to do with this blockade, trying to comfort one another and regroup. One of the areas this mountain has blocked us from is our adoption. Until we find our way around it, we are delayed. Our sons are growing and changing. Our oldest is now 15 and running short on time. We were just about to file for emergency clearance on our USCIS clearance because of his age when this mountain landed before us. My mother's heart is tempted to panic. Momentum has been disrupted. This was not supposed to happen right now. This mountain couldn't come at a worse time, in fact. Standing before these jagged cliffs, I am reminded of one of my favorite stories from Scripture. I could camp out reading the books of Joshua and Judges, 1 and 2 Samuel, and 1 and 2 Kings every day. Nestled in these books are amazing stories of victory despite horrible odds, courageous, yet simple people choosing to believe the impossible. One of those stories I love is of Johnathan and his armor bearer. They found themselves along with Saul and 600 men hiding in caves, afraid of the enemy outside. They had no weapons except for one sword. 1 Samuel 14 contains this amazing story and as Jonathan and his armor bearer decide to regain momentum, the story continues... On each side of the pass that Jonathan intended to cross to reach the Philistine outpost was a cliff; one was called Bozez and the other Seneh. One cliff stood to the north toward Mikmash, the other to the south toward Geba. Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few." “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” The story unfolds in an amazing picture of what Jesus, as Jonathan, does with us as wearers of armor, but for this thought, the cliffs and the enemy are what catch my attention. Jonathan had a huge obstacle in front of him, with one weapon and one other friend to help him overcome the enemy, but he confidently declares, "Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many for by few." He and his armor bearer scale the cliffs, confident of the Lord's ability to save. Scaling the mountain before Kurt and I and our family may delay our adoption for just a season, but we are confident God will act on our behalf as Jonathan declared. Our sons expect me to arrive in Ethiopia the first week of November. The mountain we came crashing into two weeks ago appears to threaten that possibility financially. We are without income in the moment. We are seeking God's plan and looking for open doors. Nevertheless, my children need their mother. They need promises to remain, hope to remain, plans to stay intact. With that before us, we again look to the Kingdom of God for those who might help. I need $2000 to get to my children in November. With the delay in the adoption, they especially need me to come in November. They have waited for two years for me to come. Currently, in our adoption PayPal account, we have $66.00. We have used what others have so generously given to get us to this place in our adoption...right at the tip of being able to apply for grants. That will have to wait now until we are employed and have housing, but we had arrived at a good place with your help so that we will be able to pick right back up when God brings us employment. The two women, also adopting from Kolfe that are going to Kolfe the first week of November are buying their tickets this week. The airline is running around $1400 and the rest I will need for the guest house and expenses. God is big. God's people are givers. I need to get to my sons, but I cannot without help. Our goal: $1934.00 There is a PayPayl button at the top of this blog. God always brings a harvest to our seed and as you sow seed to get me to my children and to the other children at Kolfe, God will return your investment 100 fold. Thank you for investing into the orphans of Kolfe. Momentum will return, for now it's a climb as we pull and hang on to this cliff before us. God will save, by many or by few....

The Little Things

Your son comes bouncing home from school with a good grade, his face beaming with pride and you share in the joy, hugging and high fiving. Your daughter gets asked to her first homecoming dance and she flits around the living room in excitement and nerves and you put on a serious face, demanding the boy come to the door and warn her about no close dancing. Your son lies in bed, burning up with a fever and body aches and you sit and hold a cold rag on his head and feed him chicken noodle soup. The little things...they feel so very important to us as parents and they become glaringly important when we miss them. My younger son messaged me about his first day at private school in ET. He received the highest marks in his grade last year which allowed him to attend a private school this year. He was so excited! His teacher gave him homework and he told me with great excitement that he was going to study hard and wanted to get the highest marks again. I told him how proud I was, but how I wished I could scoop him up with hugs and high fives. He is half a world away. He is growing up without me. The little things... My oldest son messaged me in the middle of the night in Ethiopia. He was burning up with a fever and was very sick. The language barrier made it very difficult for him to tell me exactly what his symptoms were...only that he was sick, couldn't sleep, and very,very hot. I prayed for him, I talked to him, but I couldn't bring him medicine, take him to the doctor, offer him comfort. The little things.... However, God is so good to give us favor in these moments of waiting. The most precious young missionary in Ethiopia, Carmen Post, let me know today, she sent her oldest son over to Kolfe to bring Cherinet medicine. My heart exhaled...comfort for my son on the way. The little things that people do for one another...they make all the difference. What little thing can you offer someone today? What little thing can become such a big thing in another life? It's the little things....

Two Little Girls

Two little girls...birthdays five weeks apart, lives half a globe apart. Two little girls as different as they are same. One born into blessing and love, a mommy and a daddy, abundant nurture and belonging. One born into poverty and neglect, orphaned and fatherless, hunger and abandon. Two little girls...September 13, in their first year of life, two little girls' worlds invisibly collided. The first little girl crossed into eternity to be with Jesus, breaking all of our hearts, changing life forever. Only seven months old, Jesus cradled her in the crook of His arm as He carried her home. Meanwhile, the little girl across the continents struggled to live, sickness and disease, hunger and loneliness. Two little girls... the parents of the first grieving in deep sorrow. The new parents of the other hearing the call to rescue. A mountain of grief and a mountain of impossibility. One life gone far too soon, bringing loss, yet the promise of heaven. One life drowning is hopelessness, stricken with malaria, yet the hope of adoption. Two little girls...months pass and God wakes the first mommy in the deep, late hours. God speaks and she acts. The second mommy restless into the deep, late hours awaiting a miracle to bring her baby home. God speaks and she believes. Two little girls...from the southern end of Texas to the central plains of Kansas, provision is sent...from one set of parents to the other. Provision from the loss to provide provision for the found. Exact amount required... Two little girls...the first adored by Jesus in heaven now for five years...the second home with her new family now for four years. One loved and cared for by God and all His angels, spending her days in perfection, waiting to see her family again. One loved and cared for by her new family, spending her days at kindergarten, her wait is over. Two little girls... Forever connected, hands holding through life. One missed by her parents and the other found by her parents....but only because of the first. The first with a deep legacy, her life giving life to one lost. Her life rescuing a child abandoned at a post office. Her life forever valued, forever meaningful, forever remembered. September 13....we remember two little girls, our precious friends' little girl, a miracle in heaven, a life with great wonder and legacy and our little girl, a miracle in our lives, our precious Ethiopian Princess. Kyandee and Julianna Kynadee. Oh, beautiful little girls....we remember.

15 on 22

Sounds like a football play...15 on 22. However, it's a much more important phrase than a route a wide receiver might take on my son's football team. 15 on 22....our oldest son turns 15 on the 22nd of this month, September. 15 is a pivotal year in the adoption world. It's the last year a child can be adopted and brought home to a family. Our paperwork and funds need to be raised within this year. Our first goal was to have it all done before his 15th birthday. Our paperwork will be finished by then, but we are still praying about our funds. We've been so blessed by so many of you stepping out and giving towards our boys. Several of you have sent donations multiple times and it completely sends us to our faces. We are overwhelmed by your hearts and generosity. The task is great, friends. As soon as our final paperwork is submitted, we will begin to apply for grants. It is our hope that God shows us favor in these and your prayers are so appreciated. When God gives vision, He always gives provision. We know the vision, now we wait with expectancy for provision to complete the task before us in bringing home our children from Ethiopia. Our hope is that I can travel in early November for a couple of days to see our sons. We are waiting on God to open that door as well. 15 on 22....it's numbers on a page, but oh such important numbers to a precious young man on the other side of the globe. Our 9 year old, too, needs to be home sooner than later to begin the adjustment period with his new life and family. If God nudges your heart to give today toward our adoption process, we would be so grateful. You may use our donation button on the right or mail donations directly to us or our agency. Thank you for your prayers most of all. Prayer moves heaven and that is what we are counting on.

Mommy's Coming!

When my children were little, learning how to ride a bike, I would sit on the porch steps and watch them teeter and balance, pushing their bikes down the sidewalk. They would inevitably tip and fall, get up and try over and over again. I would just sit and watch. Occasionally, arms and legs would go flying, balance would give way, and they would crash hard on the cement sidewalk. Loud wails would ensue as my child cried out for me. Instinctively, I would jump to my feet and yell, "Mommy's coming!" as I raced toward my hurting child. The adoption process can be long in any typical case. In many situations, the child knows they are being adopted, but doesn't know their new parents until they arrive for court. In our case, we have parented our children for two years from afar. We have loved them through email and Facebook, and heard their hearts on phone and Skype. We have walked them through ups and downs, trails and tests, joys and moments of pride. We have watched from afar as they have navigated life, falling and getting back up, teetering on the unpredictable vehicle of orphanage life. We have now come to the point, where one of our children has fallen hard. The wait has worn him down to the place he is crying for his parents. Hope is fading in his heart and he needs a glimpse of what is to come to carry his strength this last leg of the process. So, I am jumping to my feet and running toward Ethiopia. The first week of November, I will be traveling with two or three other moms to Kolfe Orphanage in Addis Ababa where I will wrap my arms around both my sons for the first time. The other moms and I will be investing a week loving on our children as well as the other boys waiting for their mom and dads to bring them home. The hundreds of other orphans at Kolfe will be part of our trip as well as we bring donations, shoes, and fruit to them. I plan to bring some Amharic Fire Bibles with me for the boys as well. Please pray for me as I prepare travel plans to go to Kolfe. If you would like to help me raise the money to travel, about $2500, I would be forever grateful. Thank you for partnering with us as I yell, "Mommy's coming!" and race to my hurting sons in Ethiopia. This blog has a donate button on the top right where you can donate through PayPal.