When Momentum Runs into a Mountain

Momentum...Forward movement, the wind in our hair, seeing results, the goal just ahead. We have been in that place of momentum in several areas of our life for a short six months. Finally, it seemed things were moving, God was bringing results, and we were seeing the promised goal just ahead. Suddenly, the path reveals a unseen obstacle and with a shocking, violent slam, we hit headlong into a looming mountain. Disbelief, heartbreak, disillusionment...we didn't even see this mountain coming. For long moments, we stand on the path before this jagged, ominous barrier, the wind knocked from our lungs, tears streaming down our faces. We are left with no tools to climb it, no weapons to fight it, no map to find our way around it. For two weeks, we have stood here, looking around at the injustice of the mountain, asking God what we are to do with this blockade, trying to comfort one another and regroup. One of the areas this mountain has blocked us from is our adoption. Until we find our way around it, we are delayed. Our sons are growing and changing. Our oldest is now 15 and running short on time. We were just about to file for emergency clearance on our USCIS clearance because of his age when this mountain landed before us. My mother's heart is tempted to panic. Momentum has been disrupted. This was not supposed to happen right now. This mountain couldn't come at a worse time, in fact. Standing before these jagged cliffs, I am reminded of one of my favorite stories from Scripture. I could camp out reading the books of Joshua and Judges, 1 and 2 Samuel, and 1 and 2 Kings every day. Nestled in these books are amazing stories of victory despite horrible odds, courageous, yet simple people choosing to believe the impossible. One of those stories I love is of Johnathan and his armor bearer. They found themselves along with Saul and 600 men hiding in caves, afraid of the enemy outside. They had no weapons except for one sword. 1 Samuel 14 contains this amazing story and as Jonathan and his armor bearer decide to regain momentum, the story continues... On each side of the pass that Jonathan intended to cross to reach the Philistine outpost was a cliff; one was called Bozez and the other Seneh. One cliff stood to the north toward Mikmash, the other to the south toward Geba. Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few." “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” The story unfolds in an amazing picture of what Jesus, as Jonathan, does with us as wearers of armor, but for this thought, the cliffs and the enemy are what catch my attention. Jonathan had a huge obstacle in front of him, with one weapon and one other friend to help him overcome the enemy, but he confidently declares, "Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many for by few." He and his armor bearer scale the cliffs, confident of the Lord's ability to save. Scaling the mountain before Kurt and I and our family may delay our adoption for just a season, but we are confident God will act on our behalf as Jonathan declared. Our sons expect me to arrive in Ethiopia the first week of November. The mountain we came crashing into two weeks ago appears to threaten that possibility financially. We are without income in the moment. We are seeking God's plan and looking for open doors. Nevertheless, my children need their mother. They need promises to remain, hope to remain, plans to stay intact. With that before us, we again look to the Kingdom of God for those who might help. I need $2000 to get to my children in November. With the delay in the adoption, they especially need me to come in November. They have waited for two years for me to come. Currently, in our adoption PayPal account, we have $66.00. We have used what others have so generously given to get us to this place in our adoption...right at the tip of being able to apply for grants. That will have to wait now until we are employed and have housing, but we had arrived at a good place with your help so that we will be able to pick right back up when God brings us employment. The two women, also adopting from Kolfe that are going to Kolfe the first week of November are buying their tickets this week. The airline is running around $1400 and the rest I will need for the guest house and expenses. God is big. God's people are givers. I need to get to my sons, but I cannot without help. Our goal: $1934.00 There is a PayPayl button at the top of this blog. God always brings a harvest to our seed and as you sow seed to get me to my children and to the other children at Kolfe, God will return your investment 100 fold. Thank you for investing into the orphans of Kolfe. Momentum will return, for now it's a climb as we pull and hang on to this cliff before us. God will save, by many or by few....

The Little Things

Your son comes bouncing home from school with a good grade, his face beaming with pride and you share in the joy, hugging and high fiving. Your daughter gets asked to her first homecoming dance and she flits around the living room in excitement and nerves and you put on a serious face, demanding the boy come to the door and warn her about no close dancing. Your son lies in bed, burning up with a fever and body aches and you sit and hold a cold rag on his head and feed him chicken noodle soup. The little things...they feel so very important to us as parents and they become glaringly important when we miss them. My younger son messaged me about his first day at private school in ET. He received the highest marks in his grade last year which allowed him to attend a private school this year. He was so excited! His teacher gave him homework and he told me with great excitement that he was going to study hard and wanted to get the highest marks again. I told him how proud I was, but how I wished I could scoop him up with hugs and high fives. He is half a world away. He is growing up without me. The little things... My oldest son messaged me in the middle of the night in Ethiopia. He was burning up with a fever and was very sick. The language barrier made it very difficult for him to tell me exactly what his symptoms were...only that he was sick, couldn't sleep, and very,very hot. I prayed for him, I talked to him, but I couldn't bring him medicine, take him to the doctor, offer him comfort. The little things.... However, God is so good to give us favor in these moments of waiting. The most precious young missionary in Ethiopia, Carmen Post, let me know today, she sent her oldest son over to Kolfe to bring Cherinet medicine. My heart exhaled...comfort for my son on the way. The little things that people do for one another...they make all the difference. What little thing can you offer someone today? What little thing can become such a big thing in another life? It's the little things....

Two Little Girls

Two little girls...birthdays five weeks apart, lives half a globe apart. Two little girls as different as they are same. One born into blessing and love, a mommy and a daddy, abundant nurture and belonging. One born into poverty and neglect, orphaned and fatherless, hunger and abandon. Two little girls...September 13, in their first year of life, two little girls' worlds invisibly collided. The first little girl crossed into eternity to be with Jesus, breaking all of our hearts, changing life forever. Only seven months old, Jesus cradled her in the crook of His arm as He carried her home. Meanwhile, the little girl across the continents struggled to live, sickness and disease, hunger and loneliness. Two little girls... the parents of the first grieving in deep sorrow. The new parents of the other hearing the call to rescue. A mountain of grief and a mountain of impossibility. One life gone far too soon, bringing loss, yet the promise of heaven. One life drowning is hopelessness, stricken with malaria, yet the hope of adoption. Two little girls...months pass and God wakes the first mommy in the deep, late hours. God speaks and she acts. The second mommy restless into the deep, late hours awaiting a miracle to bring her baby home. God speaks and she believes. Two little girls...from the southern end of Texas to the central plains of Kansas, provision is sent...from one set of parents to the other. Provision from the loss to provide provision for the found. Exact amount required... Two little girls...the first adored by Jesus in heaven now for five years...the second home with her new family now for four years. One loved and cared for by God and all His angels, spending her days in perfection, waiting to see her family again. One loved and cared for by her new family, spending her days at kindergarten, her wait is over. Two little girls... Forever connected, hands holding through life. One missed by her parents and the other found by her parents....but only because of the first. The first with a deep legacy, her life giving life to one lost. Her life rescuing a child abandoned at a post office. Her life forever valued, forever meaningful, forever remembered. September 13....we remember two little girls, our precious friends' little girl, a miracle in heaven, a life with great wonder and legacy and our little girl, a miracle in our lives, our precious Ethiopian Princess. Kyandee and Julianna Kynadee. Oh, beautiful little girls....we remember.

15 on 22

Sounds like a football play...15 on 22. However, it's a much more important phrase than a route a wide receiver might take on my son's football team. 15 on 22....our oldest son turns 15 on the 22nd of this month, September. 15 is a pivotal year in the adoption world. It's the last year a child can be adopted and brought home to a family. Our paperwork and funds need to be raised within this year. Our first goal was to have it all done before his 15th birthday. Our paperwork will be finished by then, but we are still praying about our funds. We've been so blessed by so many of you stepping out and giving towards our boys. Several of you have sent donations multiple times and it completely sends us to our faces. We are overwhelmed by your hearts and generosity. The task is great, friends. As soon as our final paperwork is submitted, we will begin to apply for grants. It is our hope that God shows us favor in these and your prayers are so appreciated. When God gives vision, He always gives provision. We know the vision, now we wait with expectancy for provision to complete the task before us in bringing home our children from Ethiopia. Our hope is that I can travel in early November for a couple of days to see our sons. We are waiting on God to open that door as well. 15 on 22....it's numbers on a page, but oh such important numbers to a precious young man on the other side of the globe. Our 9 year old, too, needs to be home sooner than later to begin the adjustment period with his new life and family. If God nudges your heart to give today toward our adoption process, we would be so grateful. You may use our donation button on the right or mail donations directly to us or our agency. Thank you for your prayers most of all. Prayer moves heaven and that is what we are counting on.

Mommy's Coming!

When my children were little, learning how to ride a bike, I would sit on the porch steps and watch them teeter and balance, pushing their bikes down the sidewalk. They would inevitably tip and fall, get up and try over and over again. I would just sit and watch. Occasionally, arms and legs would go flying, balance would give way, and they would crash hard on the cement sidewalk. Loud wails would ensue as my child cried out for me. Instinctively, I would jump to my feet and yell, "Mommy's coming!" as I raced toward my hurting child. The adoption process can be long in any typical case. In many situations, the child knows they are being adopted, but doesn't know their new parents until they arrive for court. In our case, we have parented our children for two years from afar. We have loved them through email and Facebook, and heard their hearts on phone and Skype. We have walked them through ups and downs, trails and tests, joys and moments of pride. We have watched from afar as they have navigated life, falling and getting back up, teetering on the unpredictable vehicle of orphanage life. We have now come to the point, where one of our children has fallen hard. The wait has worn him down to the place he is crying for his parents. Hope is fading in his heart and he needs a glimpse of what is to come to carry his strength this last leg of the process. So, I am jumping to my feet and running toward Ethiopia. The first week of November, I will be traveling with two or three other moms to Kolfe Orphanage in Addis Ababa where I will wrap my arms around both my sons for the first time. The other moms and I will be investing a week loving on our children as well as the other boys waiting for their mom and dads to bring them home. The hundreds of other orphans at Kolfe will be part of our trip as well as we bring donations, shoes, and fruit to them. I plan to bring some Amharic Fire Bibles with me for the boys as well. Please pray for me as I prepare travel plans to go to Kolfe. If you would like to help me raise the money to travel, about $2500, I would be forever grateful. Thank you for partnering with us as I yell, "Mommy's coming!" and race to my hurting sons in Ethiopia. This blog has a donate button on the top right where you can donate through PayPal.

$40 For Food!

Late night Saturday nights are the times I hear from God most clearly...My heart is always preparing for Sunday morning as a pastor's wife and a worship leader. I sit here now at 12:30 am reading Judges 7 and the story of Gideon and listening to the sweet voice of Kari Jobe come through my computer, singing "You Are For Me". My heart is overwhelmed. The adoption process is so long and difficult and the wait so heavy as a mother. Last week, our oldest son and I talked on the phone. I am always amazed as I talk to either of my sons on the phone or computer. Eight hours ahead in a culture vastly different from mine, the soft spoken voices of my children come across the miles. It's always evening there when we speak and the boys make their way outside to escape the noise of hundreds of boys in the dorms. As we talk, I can hear a rooster protesting and dogs barking. It takes me right back to being there four years ago. Our oldest son is nearing 14 and has been in an orphanage for four years. He loves God and he dreams doctor. He shares with me how he walks along the road and dreams of a new life with us. His living conditions are difficult, his needs never fully met, yet he never asks us for a thing. He only says, "I only want you." He is a beautiful child full of destiny. However, his hope is fading. It's the rainy season in Ethiopia. He is on summer break, stuck inside the compound with hundreds of other orphan boys, waiting. We chatted as we normally do, with me passing the phone around to the family to talk. Knowing my minutes on my card were fading, I began to wrap up the conversation. I asked if he needed anything and he responded with the usual "No, Mom." I asked if he had enough to eat and he was silent. I said, "Are you hungry or full?" He responded, "Hungry." I heard a sniffle and I said, "Are you sad?" and he broke into deep sobs. He could not even speak. Eight hours ahead in time, across a massive ocean, and far away from my grasp, my child wept with such deep sorrow that I was overwhelmed. I cried with him. I reminded him that Jesus was with him, that we were coming soon, and that he is never, ever alone. He kept responding with ok, but continued to sob. It's hard to tell a child that Jesus is with him when his belly is empty. That is why Jesus always fed the multitudes or healed the sick or delivered the demoniac before He revealed His Presence to them. With the ache of natural pain and hunger gone, the ears can hear more effectively. I prayed for him over the phone and I know, as it was ten in the evening, that as we hung up, he went to lay on his tiny bunk bed, surrounded by hundreds of orphan boys, with an empty stomach and cried himself to sleep. I spent the day sobbing and praying. I went about my day, but tears continued to fall. I have been heavy hearted since that day. Why children have to suffer and starve and live fatherless lives I do not understand. These will be our third and fourth children we've adopted from Ethiopia. It's so life changing and generation changing for these four, yet it barely scratches the surface of the orphan and hunger problem. My heart is broken. As I listened to Kari sing this intimate song to the Lord... "I know that you are for me, I know that You are for me... I know that You will never forsake in my weaknesses...."I wrapped my heart around the lyrics and the promise behind them for my boys. As I sat there just after midnight, they were awaking to chilly rain and another day of desperation. It is this hope...the hope of the ever presence of Jesus that keeps me from breaking. My arms ache to hold them. Until that moment, I cling to the goodness of God. I know that God is for my sons and for the millions of orphans around the world. But, He clearly commissioned us to be FOR them too. We must be there for them. It's pure religion...to care for the widow and orphan. They struggle in a hopeless world of no hope. How can we live in such luxury in comparison and do nothing? We must be the heart of Jesus extended to our world. How will they ever know that God is for them if we remain still and quiet? The average family of four spends around $40 to go to an average sit down restaurant to consume a meal. Our two sons have thin arms, eyes glassy with malnutrition, yet they smile and embrace anyone who comes to visit. The boys at Kolfe are precious. They deserve more than life has offered them. We are desperate to move this adoption quickly. We have raised all the money for homestudy minus mileage and post adoption fees. We have thousands to raise for our agency fees yet. Our agency hopes to have our paperwork submitted to Ethipian court by the time it reopens in October. That is a big hope. We have much to accomplish to see that happen. Would you be willing to set aside one meal out with your family to help our sons come home to their family, to enough food, to no more lonely nights, to medical care, and opportunity, and community? $40 For Food! I don't want my sons to stay trapped in the cycle of fatherlessness and poverty and hunger and hopelessness. We need your help. Will you help us? Will you help them? Our blog has a donate button at the top which enables us to receive donations via PayPal. You can also send donations to International Adoption Net, 7500 E. Arapahoe Road, Ste 250, Centennial, CO 80112 and specify it to be given towards our adoption. Thank you for praying! This community of people that love the orphan and care about the hurting of the world have done amazing things to change lives! Thank you for praying for our sons and for the hundreds of boys at Kolfe Orphanage. Below is a picture of the kitchen at Kolfe and a picture of Easter Sunday this year when a group of women came and served the boys bread.

In the Gap

Our great friend, Joel Fouse, was traveling through Ethiopia this last week. I knew he was spending most of his time outside of Addis Ababa, but as I sat propped up in a rocking chair with bronchitis in the middle of the night, I realized joel would be back in Addis to fly home. As a long shot, I sent him a Facebook message to ask him about his time in Addis. Eight hours ahead, Joel just happened to be at an Internet cafe to get online. He replied almost immediately that he would have a day and a half in Addis and happily agreed to go meet with our boys. In the late of the day, Joel had his driver transport him to Kolfe Orphanage. The manager was gone for the day so Joel couldn't get into the compound. Our nine year old came out to meet with him and wait for Our oldest, who soon joined them. It is the rainy season in Ethiopia, so it was pouring. Joel put the boys in his drivers car to talk with them. Joel told them of our love for them and that we were working hard to get them home, prayed with our boys, hugged them, and took three pictures. It was a short visit, but Joel drove out of his way to spend a few moments with two boys who wait and wait for their family to come for them. Those few moments of connection with someone we know and love to two boys we love brought the life sustaining power of hope. Hope sustains, hope preserves, hope strengthens. Joel's words of reassurance that he knew our boys parents and that we were coming for them, Joel's words of prayer on their behalf, Joel's arms wrapped around them on our behalf brought hope. Without hope, the heart grows sick. Hope is powerful. Joel stood in the gap halfway around the world, being our hands and voice and heart. God reached through such a gesture and sustained our boys. Our oldest, especially, needs hope. He has said to us, "my heart misses you. When will you come for me? What day and month will you come?" and with such words our hearts break. How we wish we could tell him we are on our way now. Time and process are hard concepts for children. They need tangible gestures of hope. Only God can bridge the gap and offer others to stand in the gap for us until the day we run toward our sons and throw our arms around them. Will you stand in the gap in prayer? With you stand in the gap in giving? Will you stand in the gap by sharing out story with others? Our oldest son turns 15 in September. Times slipping away. We need believers to stand in the gap in prayer. Our sons need hope. How grateful we are to Joel for standing in the gap for us to our boys. The beautiful part is that we did the same for their oldest child. When we picked up Josh and Julianna, we knew Joel and Andi's daughters were in the orphanage waiting. In the baby room where Julianna had lived, we found their teenage daughter sitting on a bottom bunk, holding a baby, helping the nannies. I sat beside her, telling her I was a friend of her mom and dad. Tears flowed immediately down her face and she said "please tell them that I love them and miss them." I grabbed her hand, seeing her deep sadness and said, "They are coming for you. They will be here soon." I hugged her. I told her to keep praying to Jesus and holding onto Him and we left with our two children. It was short but it imparted hope and gave her sustaining strength for the wait. Let us all stand in the gap for God to a dying world. The world is desperate for hope, strength, and sustaining faith. It need not be a lengthy message... A sack of groceries for a single mom, paying for a young family's meal at a restaurant you see across the room, spending a few moments listening to a widow share about what she loved about her husband, a hug for a child at church that may rarely feel love, giving money toward an Children coming home to a family. Standing in the gap for Jesus while a hurting people wait His return is so powerful. It brings hope. It sustains. It brings life giving strength. How will you stand in the gap today?